Don't worry I'm not going to be telling everyone as we're loading the ship. "Don't Go. They're going to bomb it."
I know this is my theory. And I won't create pandemonium. And anyways I don't want them to put me in a mental institution, which they could very well do because I would be jeapordizing everyone's safety.
I'm so melodramatic. I mean really this whole thing is like my imagination running wild. Going through every possible scenario.
Maybe this blog will better be used as a psychological study of someone under stress.
But don't worry. I'm not making up anything. I'm sure a ton of information is not true. But I can't worry about that. What the hell is true?? I'm just saying what I'm hearing and thinking.
I am worried about doing press interviews and them twisting what I say. But then again, I hope that anyone reading this blog, now has a sense of who I am and how I speak and what I think. And maybe you guys will even be able to pick up on how the press will massacre what I say.
I'm actually not stressed. I did a 2 minute sitting at the wall, legs crossed, deep breathing.
Why haven't I been taking deep breathing breaks all along? I'm so stupid. Okay, learning from my mistake. I will take deep-breathing breaks regularly, whenever I get the chance.
Have to maintain my sanity.
3 comments:
This sounds more like the Jane we all know! Thank goodness you're taking a chance to breathe. Thanks for clarifying.
I knew you were speaking of a "scenario" and it was essentially demonstrating to us all how hard it is not to let your thoughts run wild when bombings etc were going on in the area.
And if you do talk to the press, remember to keep it simple, stick to facts. If something is a fear, you can say it, or better yet-- privately journal first. But try to relate these to verifiable facts if you are talking to readers/press. There is always more to the story, you are right.
People in the media and reading the media/blog don't necessarily know you-- so cut them some slack on that, and try to think of what you have to say that can help them to get a better perspective... my two cents in the spirt of support and good will...
KB
I'm glad you are able to see the gift you have to connect with people. It makes me smile because I can see that as a huge part of who you are. Jane - you really are able to see past how the harsh world has shaped people and see their pure humanity. That is a gift and has value in that it allows people to imagine walking in each other's shoes.
I think you are right when you say that you realize Israel can't easliy distinguish "civilian" from "militant" and when you recognize the weight of that statement and what it means in this conflict (esp for Lebanon). Of course the response from Israel appears disproportionate if you really think it is only a response to the killed and captured soldiers. And of course the "militants" look like animals to westerners if they are not interested in even trying to wrap their head around how these people's culture, religion and life experiences have shaped their world view. When was the last time an arguement in anyone's home was really about the precipitating event? There is nothing new about this crisis- only the choices to fan the flames. I only wish I could believe it's a choice to be made between peace and violence- it's a fight for people's right to exist.
Interesting post title, given comments of recent days.
Now that you're breathing, maybe you can engage in a small thought experiment.
Pretend you were born in, say, 1976, in one of the two biggest cities of a small country in the Middle East.
When you're 15, another country invades a third country in the Persian Gulf. Your country is told to stay out of the conflict, as a large group of other nations from outside the region goes to war.
Your country agrees. The invading country, however, starts firing missiles at your country's larget cities. This country is known to have a chemical and biological weapons program, and the world is concerned it may arm these missiles with such warheads.
As a result, every day, you have to don a gas mask and hide in a bomb shelter, while the missiles fall.
Fast-forward to the present day. You've lived 15 more years knowing that, on any given day, you could be killed in a suicide bombing, or by a rocket attack.
Now, you hear from your country's intelligence agency, another nation sworn to your country's destruction is about a year away from possessing nuclear capability.
More, that nation is arming people in another nation, also sworn to erasing your existence, who are shooting rockets into your country and raiding army posts. These armed people are boasting about the big surprises yet to come for your country.
You can't evacuate. There will be no military boats floating up to take you back home. Your friends, your family, your life: all of them are right where you are. You're not just caught in the middle of a conflict; the people firing missiles at you want you, your friends, and your family as representatives of your country, dead.
Consider how "paranoid" you're now feeling, as Jane Rubio. If you were the anonymous person above -- who, as I hope has become obvious, could be one of a very large number of Israeli citizens -- how much more "paranoid" would you be?
Or would you even call it "paranoia" ?
Look. I'm not trying to justify what's going on in Lebanon (although I believe some, though not all, of it is justified). I'm not trying to excuse the human rights abuses and violations of international law committed by the Israeli government and military.
I am trying, however, to help you understand why your posts -- which continue in the same vein, even after well-meaning posters like myself suggested you might want to reflect on your tone and content -- seem to be, at best, so naïve, and at worst, so offensive.
Two final notes, to the inevitable responses:
(1) To those tempted to compliment this post while calling Jane "uneducated," or worse: please don't. I don't need or want your support, and I'm ashamed to be associated with your vitriol. Jane may be a confused and misinformed person right now, but I choose to believe she's a *good-hearted* confused and misinformed person, and calling her names isn't going to help anything.
(2) To those tempted to ask me how I could expect anything else from Jane except her reaction, given the circumstances, and the fact that this is a personal account of her experiences: I think Regina put it best, below. I wouldn't bother commenting if Jane weren't using her experiences (and this blog) as a political platform. She's getting calls from the media, and trying to organize actions against Israel. She needs to think about what she's doing, and why. If she refuses to do so, she only encourages more people to question how "good-hearted" she actually is.
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