July 19, 2006

Fatima's Story

I'm at the American University of Beirut, talking to FAtima. Fatima is an 18-year old student. Her mom, dad, brothers and sister are in the south near Nabitiya. All day, the Israelis have been bombing Nabitiya. She says she's talking on the phone with her family every 30 minutes.

She's going to sit here and type for a while--(I was copy-editing at first, mostly capitalization, comma splices, and making paragraphs. But then I decided it's better just to leave it.)

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They're telling me that they're fine. They have food supply. But of course, it's tense they tell me that when they pray , they pray as if it's their last prayer. I've been in aub for 9 days now ever since the occupation started. And since then I haven't slept becuase I constantly have to think about my parents and that I might lose them any minute. But what is keeping me strong is my faith in God and His will.

I volunteer at the Children's Cancer Centre in the American University Hospital and that is where I am occuping my time . Because it it is there where I am loved and where I can see children smiling. Because it is where I can feel that I am making a difference in this cruel world.

During my stay in aub I experieced something most people never experience all their lives. Away from my parents and loved ones, all I have left is a Quran and my prayers. Being strong at moments like these is what's most important.Other wise i would have a nervous break down and just shed into tears.

All the areas around my village have been bombed except mine. I am grateful to God that they haven't but i always wonder if the Israelies have some master plan plan for my village i always wonder when is it going to be my family's turn God for bid . these are just thoughts that go through my mind but i am just too scared to express them out loud too scared that some one might hear me and that they may come true!

this morning i recieved a phone call from my friend at 4 a.m. in the morning and as soon as the phone rang i said my prayers and knew something was wrong. i mean who would call me at 4 a clock in the morning?? i shivered as i held the phone but thank God it was simply my friend waking me up for the morning prayer.

This phone call my have been my friend simply calling me , but there is a risk that the next phone call won't be!

Having to canstantly think about my loved ones about my parents , my friends and my home ! The home that I grew up in. The constant fear just haunts me. so what am i doing about it !? i constantly surround my self with people and children to forget that i am alone ! i always think positive thoughts and of the day that i will be reuinited with my parents.

The thought of seeing them again just makes me want to cry . I miss my moms warm heart , i miss my sisters jokes and smile . i miss my fathers hug , my brothers love . the simple things that we all take for granted , the simple things like waking up to the beautiful smell of breakfast being made ! That is what i miss and much much more.

It is at moments like these where we sit down and look back at everything we have . And realize how blessed we were. I personally thank god from the bottom of my heart for everything he gave me , my wonderful family and my health... It is at moments like these where we realize how empty we are without these precious things. It is at moments like these where we become so close to god because God is all we have left.

I watch the news every day and see how the israelis are ruining my country . i see how much people are dying for this country . and i see the strong will and resisteance that runs through the blood of these people. My heart aches of pain , the pain for this country , the pain for my famlily , the pain of being alone.

I sit here and type knowing that many people will be reading my story . But the reason i wrote my stroy is not for pitty and not for the fame i am writing my story because i want people to know and experience a little of what most lebanses families are experiencing. I want people to see that the israelis have no mercy . i want people to see the untold part of the story. i want people to know the truth .

I am a young woman that is strong and proud to be fighting . proud to be lebanese and proud to have faith.It is faith that makes strong faith that keeps us alive and it is faith that makes us into who we are .

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