This Lebanese friend was in Abu Dhabi before the war started. And for now, she's stuck there.
Here's an excerpt from her last e-mail:
"Another thing imagine how complicated the Lebanese' life is. My Italian friend called and wants to send for me to come to Italy and stay with him till the crisis is over,and guess what I was denied the visa....."
Maybe I can have her come stay with me?? But I don't know where I'm going to be for the time being. I think she might already have a US visa. I'm not sure.
July 29, 2006
A very depressing article by an Israeli
Is Beirut Burning?
by Uri Avnery (former Knesset member, journalist and peace activist)
July 27, 2006, Tel Aviv
For the full article, go to
Some excerpts:
Years of the occupation regime in the Palestinian territories have caused a terrible callousness as far as human lives are concerned. The
killing of ten to twenty Palestinians every day, including women and
children, as happens now in Gaza, does not agitate anyone. It doesn't
even make the headlines. Gradually, even routine expressions like "We
regret…we had no intention…the most moral army in the world…" and all the other trite phrases are not heard anymore.
. . .
Even the launching of rockets at our towns and villages does notjustify this ignoring of moral considerations in fighting the war. There were other ways of responding to the Hizbullah provocation,
without turning Lebanon into rubble. The moral numbness will be
transformed into grievous political damage, both immediate and long
term. Only a fool or worse ignores moral values - in the end, they
always take revenge.
IT IS almost banal to say that it is easier to start a war than to
finish it. One knows how it starts, it is impossible to know how it
will end.
. . .
All this time, the United States has been using all its might in order
to prevent the cessation of hostilities. All signs indicate that it is
pushing Israel towards a war with Syria - a country that has ballistic
missiles with chemical and biological warheads.
Only one thing is already certain on the 11th day of the war: Nothing
good will come of it. Whatever happens - Hizbullah will emerge
strengthened. If there had been hopes in the past that Lebanon would
slowly become a normal country, where Hizbullah would be deprived of a pretext for maintaining a military force of its own, we have now provided the organization with the perfect justification: Israel is
destroying Lebanon, only Hizbullah is fighting to defend the country.
As for deterrence: a war in which our huge military machine cannot
overcome a small guerilla organization in 11 days of total war
certainly has not rehabilitated its deterrent power. In this respect,
it is not important how long this war will last and what will be its
results - the fact that a few thousand fighters have withstood the
Israeli army for 11 days and more, has already been imprinted in the
consciousness of hundred of millions of Arabs and Muslims.
From this war nothing good will come - not for Israel, not for Lebanon
and not for Palestine. The "New Middle East" that will be its result
will be a worse place to live in.
by Uri Avnery (former Knesset member, journalist and peace activist)
July 27, 2006, Tel Aviv
For the full article, go to
Some excerpts:
Years of the occupation regime in the Palestinian territories have caused a terrible callousness as far as human lives are concerned. The
killing of ten to twenty Palestinians every day, including women and
children, as happens now in Gaza, does not agitate anyone. It doesn't
even make the headlines. Gradually, even routine expressions like "We
regret…we had no intention…the most moral army in the world…" and all the other trite phrases are not heard anymore.
. . .
Even the launching of rockets at our towns and villages does notjustify this ignoring of moral considerations in fighting the war. There were other ways of responding to the Hizbullah provocation,
without turning Lebanon into rubble. The moral numbness will be
transformed into grievous political damage, both immediate and long
term. Only a fool or worse ignores moral values - in the end, they
always take revenge.
IT IS almost banal to say that it is easier to start a war than to
finish it. One knows how it starts, it is impossible to know how it
will end.
. . .
All this time, the United States has been using all its might in order
to prevent the cessation of hostilities. All signs indicate that it is
pushing Israel towards a war with Syria - a country that has ballistic
missiles with chemical and biological warheads.
Only one thing is already certain on the 11th day of the war: Nothing
good will come of it. Whatever happens - Hizbullah will emerge
strengthened. If there had been hopes in the past that Lebanon would
slowly become a normal country, where Hizbullah would be deprived of a pretext for maintaining a military force of its own, we have now provided the organization with the perfect justification: Israel is
destroying Lebanon, only Hizbullah is fighting to defend the country.
As for deterrence: a war in which our huge military machine cannot
overcome a small guerilla organization in 11 days of total war
certainly has not rehabilitated its deterrent power. In this respect,
it is not important how long this war will last and what will be its
results - the fact that a few thousand fighters have withstood the
Israeli army for 11 days and more, has already been imprinted in the
consciousness of hundred of millions of Arabs and Muslims.
From this war nothing good will come - not for Israel, not for Lebanon
and not for Palestine. The "New Middle East" that will be its result
will be a worse place to live in.
Demonstration in Boston on Sunday from 1-5
There will be a Ceasefire Now Demonstration in front of the State House.
July 28, 2006
Field Trip to Baalbaak
Field Trip to Baalbaak
Originally uploaded by Jane Rubio.
I led a very unorganized field trip to Baalbaak in May. It was crazy--5th and 6th graders instantly spread like cockroaches amongst the ruins, jumping off the ancient rocks. It's amazing no one got hurt. Just getting them to gather for this picture almost made a blood vessel explode in my head.
They've been bombing Baalbaak a lot. I heard rumors they got some of the Roman temples.
There were still so many things I hadn't seen yet in Lebanon--Tyre, the old souk in Saida, Sid Qaraoun, the wineries in the Bekaa.
Explaining My Paranoia-Part Deux
AUB Computer Lab
Originally uploaded by Jane Rubio.
Can I say how very much I appreciate how forgiving and understanding you all have been with me? Really trying to help me understand why I went crazy (even though no one else around me lost their mind the way I did.)
But I can't get this out of my head. Why did I snap? I have to understand why. It plays into one of my biggest fears about myself--that I will one day crack like I've seen my other friends and family members crack.
The research says that men with shizophrenia experience their first psychotic breaks in their 20's, for women it's in their early 30's. My 11th grade psychology students all caught on to this.
I've visited psychiatric facilities too many times in my life. After a very close friend/former boyfriend died, 3 years after being diagnosed with schizophrenia, I volunteered with the West Houston chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. That along with 2 hours of watching Little House on the Prairie every morning served as my therapy.
But then soon enough, I went to real therapy, which I was dong regularly for about seven years, until my last therapist said I didn't need to keep seeing her anymore.
It runs in my family. My dad has a horrible story of his dad being picked up by the NYPD and getting committed to some place in Queens or maybe upstate New York, again I don't remember. He had to go through all kinds of hoops to get him out, and he was a teenager at that time, having arrived from Venezuela not too many years before.
So it really bothers me that I lost it. And endangered myself and lost my free ticket home.
And by the way, I was sitting at this computer at the AUB dorm when I wrote a lot of those posts. And when I wrote that crazy the U.S. will bomb its own boats scenario, I wasn't alone. I was with a Lebanese guy. And we formulated the post together. So I didn't even make that up by myself. Again, too many voices influencing me, and the silly pressure to keep blogging. Just so no one would forget that I and Lebanon existed.
Like I've said before, I can't live by fear. And I can't live by any fear that I will one day start hearing voices and believing paranoid delusions.
God is bigger than all of that. He's saved me thus far. And He brought me home safely.
Local news article
From the Katy Sun:
It's fine except for the last line, "is waiting to hear from some of her Lebanese friends." I'm calling a lot of them, but it's true that there are still a lot of people I haven't talked to.
It's fine except for the last line, "is waiting to hear from some of her Lebanese friends." I'm calling a lot of them, but it's true that there are still a lot of people I haven't talked to.
Going Back
Excerpt of an e-mail from a friend:
"The closet I came to a war zone was when the Ivory Coast civil war started when I was in Ghana. I hosted some Peace Corps who had been evacuated and the hardest thing was how different people respond to shock. There were loads of French and American evacuees in Accra then and some of them acted really piggish, and others were so worried about their Ivorian friends left behind they actually recrossed the border to try and help."
Sounds crazy? I understand the feeling.
"The closet I came to a war zone was when the Ivory Coast civil war started when I was in Ghana. I hosted some Peace Corps who had been evacuated and the hardest thing was how different people respond to shock. There were loads of French and American evacuees in Accra then and some of them acted really piggish, and others were so worried about their Ivorian friends left behind they actually recrossed the border to try and help."
Sounds crazy? I understand the feeling.
Downtown Beirut
Downtown
Originally uploaded by Jane Rubio.
See how beautiful it is.
I took this the day before I left, the day I ran around Beirut with my friends. That's when I realized that not all people were bunkering down in their houses.
I took a ton of pictures that day. I don't know what it will look like when I go back.
There were rumors. The Israelis are going to bomb Downtown. They got part of the Roman temples at Baalaak. I don't know.
And the Daily Star is reporting from Medicins Sans Frontiers (Doctors Without Borders) that these medical safety corridors in Southern Lebanon simply do not exist. Their trucks have been attacked by bombs. They can't get to the people who need the help.
I don't know how anyone can say bombing medical trucks, bombing a milk factory, potentially destroying ancient ruins or the beautifully rebuilt downtown can count as anyone defending itself?
So now what are you going to do?
Let me quote what a girl said during my senior year in college, or maybe it was on a T-shirt, . . .I don't remember.
"Don't ask me what I'm doing next year, unless you're offering me a job."
I, acutally, don't want a job, but am MORE than willing to do all kinds of work that allow me to be Jane and somehow make a living.
Yes, I'm open to suggestions.
I'm in New York right now to see what I can figure out. I signed up for some classes at The Learning Annex, like "20 Ways to Make Money Without Going to Work!", "Successful Fundraisng and Grant Writing" and yes, even, "How to Write a Book Proposal That Publishers Can't Refuse." Special thanks to all of you who have written me personally about this.
Unfortunately, I missed "How to Become a Winning Game Show Contestant." It is still one of my life dreams to win big on Jeapordy.
And I figured I didn't need "How to Be Bitch: Women, Learn to Assert Yourself and Get What You Desire!" Got good old Jane, Senior for that.
Why do half the class titles end with an exclamation point? Didn't they learn that other golden rule of writing? Never, ever use an exclamation point unless you're quoting a cheerleader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Don't ask me what I'm doing next year, unless you're offering me a job."
I, acutally, don't want a job, but am MORE than willing to do all kinds of work that allow me to be Jane and somehow make a living.
Yes, I'm open to suggestions.
I'm in New York right now to see what I can figure out. I signed up for some classes at The Learning Annex, like "20 Ways to Make Money Without Going to Work!", "Successful Fundraisng and Grant Writing" and yes, even, "How to Write a Book Proposal That Publishers Can't Refuse." Special thanks to all of you who have written me personally about this.
Unfortunately, I missed "How to Become a Winning Game Show Contestant." It is still one of my life dreams to win big on Jeapordy.
And I figured I didn't need "How to Be Bitch: Women, Learn to Assert Yourself and Get What You Desire!" Got good old Jane, Senior for that.
Why do half the class titles end with an exclamation point? Didn't they learn that other golden rule of writing? Never, ever use an exclamation point unless you're quoting a cheerleader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Responding to earl
I'm not saying that Israelis should have to hide their identity to the Arab world, but to the world in general. I made the analogy about flaunting my American identity in certain contexts, but I guess I'm not communicating it well to you. So I'll just have to drop this subject.
I haven't said that the existence of Israel is a mistake. It just has a really crappy foreign policy that's brought upon itself a lot of security problems. Which is exactly what the US is doing to itself by supporting Israel.
When did Hizbollah murder Americans?? I would love to get some info about this. Oh wait, the 241 U.S. Marines that got killed in Beirut in 1984. Is that what you're referring to??
I haven't said that the existence of Israel is a mistake. It just has a really crappy foreign policy that's brought upon itself a lot of security problems. Which is exactly what the US is doing to itself by supporting Israel.
When did Hizbollah murder Americans?? I would love to get some info about this. Oh wait, the 241 U.S. Marines that got killed in Beirut in 1984. Is that what you're referring to??
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