I was forced to go to the edge of my comfort zone recently.
I like to pride myself on the fact that I can enter most situations, especially involving people of different cultures, skin colors, and socio-economic class backgrounds, and feel completely at ease. Working in the hood where rumors of wild teenagers running loose who could potentially slash my face to get initiated into their gang doesn't bother me. I don't fear "the other."
And yet, I was standing in the lesbian salsa bar unsure of myself. The music was good. I wanted to dance, but I was scared. . .What if one of the women saw me and asked me to dance? Then I would be false advertising. So I decided not to dance. In fact, I moved closer to the male friend who brought me there.
And so what happened? . . . Nothing. A lady came up to my blond friend and kept trying to get her to dance. And she was awful (none of the native rhythm that flows naturally from my Latina blood. . . !)
Ultimamente, no one came up to me. At the beginning, I was so concerned of a misunderstanding and maybe offending someone, and in the end it was just an experience of rejection. No Latina lesbians wanted to dance with me.
I later asked one of the women the protocol. Here it is: If someone asks you to dance, then if you feel like it, dance with her. You don't have to tell her you're straight. I mean, why are you assuming she wants anything with you anyways? And then if later, she starts to push it a little, then you can tell her you're straight. No problem.
As usual, I was making a big deal out of nothing.
3 comments:
Ms. You are so racist imma bout smack you , have you ever had a kid come up to and try to slash your face? no i dont think so. It sounds like you talking bout black people ? anyway imma leave you with this ... dont talk about the hood because you dont no nothing about it and you live in the lebanon !!!!
Ms. You are so racist imma bout smack you , have you ever had a kid come up to and try to slash your face? no i dont think so. It sounds like you talking bout black people ? anyway imma leave you with this ... dont talk about the hood because you dont no nothing about it and you live in the lebanon !!!!
Hi Jane ,
It has often puzzled me why straight folk are so afraid of "getting hit on" by gays or lesbians anywhere the two may meet. As a lesbian who has been to many straight bars and danced among straight men , I would simply say " I'm not interested buddy" if ever I was hit on by one of the men. Similarly as a lesbian salsa dancer and lwhose majority of social dance partners happen to be straight men, I say " Not interested, thanks" to any men who want something more or assume I am straight.
You eventually caught on which is to your credit. I imagine it is because you live in a majority straight world that it wasn't obvious to you to "just say no" to any unwanted advances. Asking when unsure is the safest bet.
Most people gay , lesbian, or straight probably just want to dance when on the dance floor. If not, you now know how to handle it! Ask a lesbian to dance next time you go there but don't assume she's a leader or a lesbian. Some women there are straightto :p.
Francine
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