The first time I showed my Lebanese students this photo of me in front of the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, they screamed in horror, then laughed and pointed.
"Ah!!! Miss is covering her head. . . but she didn't even do it right. Your hair isn't supposed to show, Miss."
So when I see every photo and press release about Benazir Bhutto, with her head sort of half-covered in her dupatta, I think, "She's not even doing it right."
Of course, there are a million different ways to interpret a religion. Some Christians won't touch alcohol; some just think it's a sin to get drunk, etc., etc. Some Muslims think that a woman should cover all her hair, and just have her husband see all her beauty.
When I found out that Benazir Bhutto was assassinated, I was on the treadmill at the YMCA in Katy, Texas. One of the TVs always has CNN on. I think I let out a little gasp or yelp of shock, and then I looked around to see who was sharing my horror.
No one. People were looking at the TV or not. And nobody seemed to care. I started crying and shaking a little, and still looking around. No one noticed anything was up.
Why did I get all shaken up?? It's kind of like when I heard that Rafik Hariri, the former Prime Minister of Lebanon, died. I didn't necessarily like him. He had many political enemies. He was a big whig who had a lot of money, who many claim was stolen from the people. (Though many credit him with providing scholarships so they can go to school--a service the government doesn't perform, maybe because Hariri and his money were the government. . . .)
In a similar way, a lot of people didn't like Benazir Bhutto. She lived in self-imposed exile from Pakistan for 8 years, having been charged with corruption, stealing LOTS of money from her people, and not really having done anything to better the situation of the poor.
They were elitist, rich people. Both former Prime Ministers. I didn't necessarily like either of them.
But still I cried when I found out they died. Maybe because their faces and presences are so familiar. Famous people become part of your world. Their absence is just felt as a sadness.
Also, my roommate in college's dad dated her when he was studying at MIT, when she was an undergrad at Harvard.
But mostly, I'm sad because I know what it portends for the future. We were all scared when Hariri died. It's like the Lebanese knew things were going to be different afterwards. After 13 years of recovering from their civil war, they knew that a long period of stability was over. And they were right. There have been 15 political assassinations since Valentine's Day 2005 when Hariri's car exploded. Bombs exploding throughout the city is an accepted, if not common occurrence.
And I guess we all know it just means worse things for Pakistan. More assassinations, more instability. Everything will now be harder for the people who live there.
4 comments:
Very well written. I too felt sad and shocked the day Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. I know she was on a self-imposed exile (if she did not do that she would have been forced to - the way it happened to Nawaz sharif) but returned to her country when she thought she could, without being sent to prison. I would say that she was a brave lady who had a very strong intuition that she would be killed yet returned to her country. Well you can say that she returned to grab the power before her opponent Sharif could do so. What ever! she was the safest bet for Pakistan knowing that the country has nuclear capability which could be misused if a fanatic organization came to power in Pakistan. I will miss her charismatic personality.
I'm glad you're blogging again. I found your blog on a google search some time ago. I am an American-Maronite-Lebanese girl who married a Shia-Lebanese boy and we are living in Ann Arbor, MI. Your insight is interesting and inspirational. It is comforting to hear the emotions of an insightful American woman blogging from Lebanon. And it's so neat that your onetime roomate's father hate dated Benazir! Lucky man. She was beautiful.
-Nancy
nancyrandazzo@hotmail.com
*had dated- not hated! :P my mistake
I felt exactly the same way when Bhutto died... it was such a shock.
I just found your blog, and have been looking through the past entries. They're harrowing. I'm so terrified for Lebanon right now, and I read the news everyday. Yet it's not the same as what you've written here. Here are the human aspects, the human insights into the situation that I've been looking for. Thank you so much!
My father, although American, grew up in Lebanon from the time he was a baby until he left for college. We were in Beirut in 2006 before the war started, and he was looking for a job. He was due to go back in the fall to continue--we knew that wasn't going to happen once Israel started bombing. Last summer we weren't in any position to move, but recently my dad has begun searching for jobs there again. I doubt it will happen now, with the politics being what they are, and this is the last chance to move before I go to college.
It makes me so sad every time I think about it. I love Lebanon. I miss it. I just pray for peace.
Post a Comment