Not Without My Daughter

After living in Lebanon for three months, I came home for Christmas break. At the meal at my aunt's house, I kept getting warnings about not marrying an Arab.

"Have you seen that movie, Not Without My Daughter?"

Actually, I didn't know if I had seen it. But I know the gist.

"Don't worry. I'm not marrying an Arab. Those people don't know how to treat women. Even if a guy says he's cool with a women being independent and being able to do her own thing, he's been spoiled by his mama his whole life, and will expect me to cook and clean after him, like a maid."

So I've pretty much been thinking that for the past year and a half.

And now look at me. I want to marry an Arab.

And you should really see the reactions. The strong negative reaction is almost equal amongst my Lebanese and American female friends.

Only the people who know Mohammad and know me are cool with it. But if anyone hasn't met him yet, I get completely accosted by. . .Do you know what you're going into.

And yeah, it's not pretty. Women have no rights in these countries. It doesn't matter if you're under the jurisdiction of Christian, Muslim, or Druze courts, basically a woman can't ask for divorce, has not claim to the custody of her children if they're between the ages of 7 and 14, and cannot guarantee her female daughters their inheritance. Of course, the details are different for the 18 official religious sects in Lebanon. But really, it's all bad.

It makes me wonder what Western woman would willingly give up her basic human rights to marry an Arab and live in his turf?

Right now, I don't have to worry about it so much because we'll get married in the U.S. That has more to do with technical visa/residence issues more than anything.

But there's a whole bog of Personal Status Law that I need to wade through.